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It's now about 24 hours since I set off for Croatia. I still wonder quite whether I am awake or not, or in some super surreal dream.
It all started normal enough, I checked in my bags, and went to the lounge to relax before boarding, I boarded, actually had a lovely meal and service on the plane (thanks Lauda Air!). I changed flights in Vienna, and landed in Zagreb at 1445. I got through passport control, all normal enough, and then to the luggage belt where 3 bags went round, and no more. "No more! No more!" shouted the man at me, and ushered me out of the arrivals hall. I found the baggage handlers office, and said my bags had gone missing. They were nice enough, and asked for descriptions, baggage tags, etc, and checked the computer. Apparently they had "gone to another airport beginning with Z". Unfortunately they were not more specific than that, and I just hoped it wasn't Zimbabwe or Zambia as it would then be quite a wait for the bags to arrive...
I got to the hotel, minus my training kit, and checked in. I went to my room. The wiring was hanging out of the wall for the TV and telephone, no modem socket, no internet, nothing! I honestly can't remember the last time that happened. No bath towels, just hand towels. It just got weirder and weirder! With no bags, I couldn't get changed and my battery charger was in the bag to save me lugging it around the airport. As were books etc, that weigh down your hand luggage. The balcony view is of a rubbish dump. The hotel is in the middle of a housing estate with nothing but houses and flats around, bar the view of the rubbish dump.
At 7pm, bored and the TV deciding that Sky News & CNN (the only two English language stations) had gone out of business and broadcasting a picture of a mountain instead, I went down to have something to eat.
Big mistake.
Very big mistake.
I'm paying for it today.
I have never actually been poisoned in a hotel before, so this at least is a new experience for me. I placed my order, the steak arrived with some chips and a "mixed salad" (3 lettuce leaves and 3 slices of tomato). I ate the three slices of tomato. The steak defied all efforts to cut it with a knife, or even attempt to rip it apart. People joke about having tough meat like leather, but leather would have been more supple than this - this was more like asphalt roofing tiles. The chips were frozen, I could tell, as they still were. What little I ate wasn't good, and I retired to my room and got depressed. The mini bar was locked and defied efforts to open it, so any risk of me drinking myself to oblivion to forget had been stopped; it's obvious it's happened before here.
This morning I came down to breakfast after showering and trying to effectively dry myself with a couple of hand towels. The waiter was clearly still annoyed at me for daring to point of the food was bad last night and sending it back and refusing to pay, and refused to acknowledge my presence, let alone serve me with coffee. I let it go, I didn't feel much like eating anyway.
It's now 0930, and my training course should have started half-an-hour ago. Only one person has turned up. He knows the place. It used to be a funeral parlour, and the company that runs the hotel moved into hotels about a year ago, as they thought hotels would be more profitable than funeral homes, and this is one they converted. It explains the rather strange hotel layout, the very washable floors, and odd room layout.
I guess with the food, they are still trying to feed the other half of the business. |
